Reflections on San Francisco

Frank Chu
Originally uploaded by jerebo.

I meant to post this several days ago, but I've been lagging.

I went up to San Francisco last weekend to see M.I.A./LCD Soundsystem at the Fillmore and peeps in the city. A good time was had by all, and here are some random thoughts about the city I lived in for 2 years:

San Franciscans are much more impressed that I write screenplays than Angelenos.

The city seems more graffiti-laden.

Celebrity sighting in the Mission -- Phil Bronstein, with a very slender blonde. Only in San Francisco would this be considered a celebrity sighting. Anytime he, Dave Eggers, or Robin Williams is seen in public it make the SF Chronicle's lifestyle gossip section.

Everyone in SF loves Arrested Development, though who knows how many of them are even aware it's being brought back for another season?

Great bars. That I remember and miss. Three dollar pints, cheap strong mixed drinks.

Oh, Trax on Haight is a gay bar. Y Tu Mama Tambien playing on the TV should've given that away. Only when my friend arrived a half hour later did I say, "Dude, I think this is a gay bar." (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Molotov's on the Lower Haight seems to have no problem with patrons loading bowls, as long as they smoke outside.

I wish I hadn't eaten such a big breakfast on Sunday, so I could have had a Mission burrito.

Ran into Frank Chu, who is the Melrose Larry Green of San Francisco. It was the first time he didn't ask me for a donation.

Drinking and smoking grass during the day makes one too tired to stand up for a show at the Fillmore.

No delis in SF and although Saul's in Berkeley is good, it's no Brent's!

I do think San Francisco is a fantastic city, though I have come to appreicate L.A. in the last year or so. I would love to live in San Francisco, but unless I sell several screenplays and make a lot of money I don't see it happening. I have come to accept that reality.

See that's me! I'm a zombie!

See that's me! I'm a zombie!
Originally uploaded by jerebo.

It probably looks better in the full-sized poster, but that's me as a zombie!

(Read posting below for more details.)

All You Zombies

I'm in the red square!
Originally uploaded by jerebo.

I'm a zombie on the Land of the Dead poster! Just look in the red square. That's me. (My next posting will show a close-up of this area, since I can only include one pic per posting.)

Special thanks to my friend Sergio Grisanti who drew this poster. In an age of US Weekly-inspired poster campaigns in which the teenybopper cast's faces are Photoshopped together, Sergio's work is a throwback to the old school era of movie posters, in which actual artistry was involved. I like to take some credit for Sergio's success, since I referred him to my friend's father, John Alvin, who is the maestro of poster artists. If there was an IMDB for such artists you'd see that Alvin drew the posters for Batman, E.T., Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and Blade Runner. Alvin took young Sergio under his wing much like Yoda mentoring a young Luke Skywalker (sans that nasty scar). After several years under Alvin's tutelage, Sergio was set free to embark on his career.

I remember when I saw Sergio's first solo piece. I was at the awful AMC Van Ness 16 in San Francisco glancing at all the lobby posters. The one for Wonderland caught my eye, since it was actually drawn and didn't resemble the above-mentioned Photoshop jobs. I admired the artistry, then yelped when I saw Sergio's signature at the bottom. I was proud of my boy. A nice detail was the "©1981" he added in the corner since the move took place in the early 80s.

Other posters followed: The Cooler, The Singing Detective, Alone in the Dark. But one night at a friend's party he dropped the zed bomb.

"Dude, guess what I'm doing next."

"What?"

"Land of the Dead, baby!"

I nearly shit my pants.

Sergio and I are big horror geeks, with an affinity for zombie movies. (I even wrote a zombie script several years ago whose plot is scarily similar to the soon-to-be-seen on Sci-Fi Channel, Return of the Living Dead Part 4: Rave From the Grave. Read more about this in a future posting.) I like to think I turned Sergio onto the genre, so it is satisfying and surreal that he is now doing the posters for sequels and remakes of horror movies from our childhood.

Originally Land of the Dead was set to be released around Halloween, but Universal wanting to cash in on the zombie craze (which was ironically inspired by George Romero's original trilogy), is releasing the film on June 24th. This meant the poster had to be done sooner rather than later.

Sergio called me a few weeks ago asking for a JPEG of my image so that he could include me on the poster. I couldn't believe it! I have been a huge fan of George Romero's films since I was a kid and now I was going to be a zombie on the poster for his fourth epic. My life is finally complete! How can it get any better?

Oh, I guess a full-time job would be nice.

Or a script sale.

I could probably think of some other things, but hell, I'll settle for being a zombie.

I feel like Michael York

Maybe I can be in the remake?
Originally uploaded by jerebo.

I will try and keep the whiny, self-loathing blogs to a minimum, but I read something in today's Variety that blew me away. (Click here for article.)

I met Austin a few years ago when he was dating a friend who appeared in a short film I co-wrote/produced. I remember him being a cool guy with a similar smart-alecky, Jewy, pop culturey sensibility.

I haven't seen him in five years and recently learned that he created the John Stamos series Jake in Progress.

He's only 28!

What the hell am I doing with my life?

True, the time I spend updating my blog and looking on Defamer and JDate could be better spent working on my own scripts so I do not have to complain about folks like him being so young and successful.

Another recent doozy:

I found an old flame on Friendster. Well, I don't know if you can consider a girl I met at a Hebrew School conclave and kissed after we saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade an official flame, but what the hell?

She's now a producer with Kevin Williamson's company.

Shes 29.

What do I have to show for myself? Well I finally moved out of my mom's house after an 11-month post-San Francisco stint. I'm winding up my temp work at 20th Century Fox Television next week...yeah, things seem to be going well. Im keeping my fingers crossed that I can segue this current gig into a writer's assistant position on a show when the upfronts are announced in two weeks. (I didn't know what an upfront was until very recently. This is when the networks announce their fall line-ups, so shows can staff up.)

Anyway I should stop bitching and start writing!

Job Interview #8

The UTA job list is the Holy Grail for those seeking low pay, long hours, and sadistic bosses… I mean work in the entertainment industry. Every couple days the list is e-mailed to job-seeking Angelenos everywhere, some who are contemplating switching to another demeaning position, and others like myself who do not yet have full-time employment. Contrary to popular belief, people in this industry do not get paid well (not until you hit the big time), so it is not uncommon to see jobs offering weeky salaries as low as $500. It is mostly manager and producer assistant positions that are offered, so for someone like myself who would love to be a writer’s assistant on a show the UTA job list is useless.

So I was pleasantly surprised to see two writer’s assistant positions advertised on last week’s list. This is the first one:

Assistant needed for writer/producer in Santa Monica. Job entails personal and business duties, including: research, proofreading, scheduling, errands... Ideal candidate would be meticulous, organized, resourceful, familiar with LA & film industry, and friendly and professional on the phone. Sound language, grammar and prose skills a must. Best suited for writer desiring intimate exposure and participation in the creative and business aspects of screenwriting. Send resume and brief intro to: (e-mail address censored)

Being an aspiring screenwriter not wanting to work for a megalomaniacal producer I thought this could be a good opportunity, even if there was the hint of having to do personal errands. I composed the following cover letter and e-mailed it along with my resume:

To Whom It May Concern,

I feel like I'm being punk'd, since this assistant position sounds too good to be on the UTA job list. As an aspiring screenwriter withplenty of assistant experience under his belt I feel this is a perfectjob opportunity for me. In addition to possessing all the desiredqualities listed in the job description, I am highly personable and awalking IMDB. Every assistant in this town is organized, resourceful,etc., but how many can claim to have been an alternate on IFC's Ultimate Film Fanatic? I hope this non-traditional "cover letter" and attached resumeencourage you to call me in for an interview. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best regards,

Jeremy Padow


I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call the next day from the current assistant asking me to come in for an interview. I was even happier when he said it would be okay for me to come in on Saturday, since it’s kind of tricky for me to leave my temp job for a couple hours.

I IMDB’d the screenwriter (who shall remain nameless) and was pleased to see that he wrote thrillers, since I’m a horror guy and thriller is the PC way of saying horror. I thought this could be a really cool job, which may not necessarily lead to me selling a screenplay, but couldn’t be a bad way to pay the bills.

The interview took place at said screenwriter’s modest Santa Monica home. It was one of those nice little houses several blocks from the beach, which probably goes for a million dollars, even it it’s only a one bedroom.

I thought the interview was off to a promising start when I commented on his framed Yellow Submarine poster. He explained how he had it restored since it was in such dire conditions.

I then sat down for the interview. The first thing he commented on was my cover letter, which he held in front of him.

(please note that I can't figure out proper script formatting for my blog, but you'll figure this out...)

SCREENWRITER
There weren’t any grammatical mistakes on
your cover letter, but there were some things I
would have done different style-wise.

How’s that for a doozy? I was a bit put off, but asked for an example.

SCREENWRITER
Well, in the sentence, "As an aspiring screenwriter
with plenty of assistant experience under his belt
I feel this is a perfect job opportunity for me,"
you switched tenses. I need someone who’s going to
catch these kinds of mistakes since they’ll be doing
correspondence for me. They need to have even
better grammar than me. Are you a screenwriter?

JEREMY (V.O.)
No, I shlepped all the way to Santa Monica on the
Saturday I’m packing for my move for my health.
(out loud)
Yeah, of course.

SCREENWRITER
Good, because I consider myself a writer first,
screenwriter second.

He proceeded to pontificate on the importance of proper writing.

JEREMY
Why did you call me in for an interview if you
had problems with my cover letter?

SCREENWRITER
There were other cover letters with typos.

He didn’t really answer the question, but I wasn’t going to argue the semantics of his statement.

He then looked at my address.

SCREENWRITER
Sherman Oaks. That’s do-able.

JEREMY
I’m sorry.

SCREENWRITER
Distance-wise, it’s the limit I would be willing
to accept. If you’re too far away it makes it
difficult for you to get here, and there are times
when I’m out of town that you need to come feed
my cat and bring in my mail on weekends.

I explained how I was actually moving to Sherman Oaks that weekend and that I had no problem commuting from Chatsworth to the 20th Century Fox lot every day for the last month.

(to be continued…)